Just the Right Qualifications
I see from Kevin Drum that Fran Townsend is on the short list of possible replacements for Abu Gonzales. That would be the Fran Townsend who gave us this immortal exchange...
HENRY: You know, going back to September 2001, the president said, dead or alive, we're going to get him. Still don't have him. I know you are saying there's successes on the war on terror, and there have been. That's a failure.I think we've found our girl.
TOWNSEND: Well, I'm not sure -- it's a success that hasn't occurred yet. I don't know that I view that as a failure.
posted by Stephen Green at 11:24 AM
BARBARIAN Contributors
4 Comments:
She's got some stiff competition from Ted 'Arkansas Project and Bush v. Gore' Olsen. Given that they'll gravitate to the hackiest hack in the pack, my money's on Ted.
She's a failure that hasn't occurred yet -- but give her time.
Let's listen in on a White House conversation.
Bush: Hey. Have you come up with that Czar guy yet?
Under qualified evangelical Lackey: We're having problems Mr. President. We inputted high profile names and created a values' friendly list of those that hate gays, family planning and abortions; then we cross referenced this list to those that would be willing to let the Rove propaganda section politically sloganize any major ideas or pronouncements they might have: then we tested the then remaining candidates as to could they swallow their most heartfelt opinions if those opinions might be in disagreement with yours, praise Jesus.
Bush: And? Who did y'all come up with?
Under qualified evangelical lackey: Harriet and Brownie top the list for those currently available. George T. was on it but he's been scrubbed. Alberto and Condi got top grades too, but well, they already work for you.
Bush: Well, can't you tweak the inputs a little to get more names? Did you hear that? I said, "Tweak the inputs a little." That's pretty savvy, isn't it. "Tweak the inputs." I like that. I'm not as rigid and uninformed as people think I am. Am I?
craig johnson
US President Tim Kalemkarian, US Senate Tim Kalemkarian, US House Tim Kalemkarian: best major candidate.
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